Women are flowers. Stupid people crush flowers.
Nate and I have been having a lot of conversations about women and beauty. And through them, and through God, I’m unequivocally convinced that beautiful women-kind are the best cherry you’ve ever had on the cupcake that is the earth. Or maybe, like, the frosting. Because what’s a cupcake without frosting? Yes, we have flowers, trees, the sky. But can you imagine the earth without women? Without little girls, pretty hair, glowing skin, make-up, fashion – the charm, expressions, grace, and overall encapsulating beauty that is womankind?
There is a beautiful and exciting atmosphere I love experiencing at events where women are present and have dressed themselves up. I think a lot of this is because of the way we feel at these events – confident and caught up in the romance of the night – and how this feeling makes you shine. All the different ways we reveal the essences of femininity is facinating. We glitter, we lipstick and powder – we do twirly, or lacy, feathers or leather. We lengthen and cover and reveal and shine. The different perfumes – fruity, bold, sweet, flirty, or the nostalgic grandmotherly fragrance that I always breathe deeply when it covers the air. We express, we reveal, we dance. We are badasses.
We are different and varied as flowers, but not even. Flowers do not have the choice of fluidity, which is beautiful in and of itself – to dress themselves by how they are feeling a certain day; to express their personalities with whichever color or style they choose.
Only one other breed of being has this option, and this breed is the man. And while men can be all-around fabulous and expressive, and I would never want to take away from that, there is just something different about a roomful of girls than a roomful of guys.
Men have so much to offer. But I want to focus on the ladies, because so often the ladies are just, not focused on. At least, not because of their God-given beauty. Often the talk about women takes on a darker flavor.
And why wouldn’t it? Think of the most beautiful things on this earth. The environment, for example? We’ve absolutely trampled it. Great beautiful bodies of water have become polluted. Trees chopped. Air poisoned. Furthermore, churches are burned down, animals are force fed hormones, caged and cruelly slaughtered, young puppies and kittens put into mills. We are sick. Really sick.
Buildings are struck down. People are murdered. Schools are filled with bullies who crush confidence before talent can bring forth beautiful art. This world hates beauty – kills it. At the first sight of something beautiful, we love to critique and destroy before anyone gets too cocky.
Look at magazines, filled with the world’s so-called loveliest people, right? These people are more scrutinized than anyone else! If these are the ones that society has chosen as the elite and beautiful, why is society not praising their beauty? It is true that sometimes, they do – but often only for a time, until the next body type is deemed more attractive, or they gain an ounce of weight, or they walk out the door without make-up.
We are hardwired, it seems, to crush what is beautiful. We may love Jessica Simpson one day, but call her ugly soon after. And even though we might bless her with the loving title of “HOT,” (right) we qualify with, but she’s stupid, untalented, a slut… And if she gains weight, we scrutinize her until we are sure our egos are filled and her, and many others, confidence is destroyed.
Here’s my point. It is so obvious to me that women are beautiful. Not just outwardly – no. Personally, I think that a women’s beauty comes from deep within. It is planted there by a loving Creator and is lived out through a lovely and precious exterior. (Of course, we all know 1 Peter 3:4, and I like this version – “But be adorned in the secret person of the heart and in a humble spirit which is uncorrupted, an excellent ornament before God.” But try to think outside the box. See bottom of page for biblical basis.) And I see this shine practically intoxicatingly at parties, where women are confident and feel beautiful and lovely caught up in excitement and adventure.
But there is a dark side. While a woman may feel confident and lovely, she also may feel jealous. Angry. Protective. Insecure. Unconfident. Ashamed. Embarassed. And she may be putting every other woman down in her head to make herself feel better. It just might be a confusing swirl of emotion, good and bad intentions, feelings and motives.
Even worse, men have learned to absolutely pulverize the beauty that is so natural in a woman, by critiquing her body parts or her hair color or whatever he wants. It’s his body to judge, he thinks. Her style to approve or disapprove. He has been trained not to see what is beautiful, but what is hot – and everything that he does not consider hot, he violently condemns. It is practically car shopping.
The problem is that women are walking around, believing that they are not beautiful. Not able to express themselves the way they’d want to because they are ashamed. Not able to not wear make-up if that’s her thing because she does not believe that she has natural beauty to offer. Not able to wear glittery, fun make-up because she is afraid the world will see her as pretentious or superficial. No winners here. We’re all in a box.
This is a hateful crime we have enacted on the modern women. I am guilty as anyone. Instead of crushing what is obviously beautiful, I suggest we begin to celebrate beautiful womenkind in all its glory. Because we are not only crushing each other with all the hatred and jealousy, but we are crushing ourselves.
Stop crushing flowers.
Extra: this is a link to a video by Larry Crabb, a leading Christian Therapist and one of my favorite authors. It’s a kind of corny 2 minute video, but it addresses the core fear of a woman concerning beauty, and I think it’s very valuable.